listening to: Lessons in grief, codependency, and conscious gratitude by Melody Beattie

"we have not given enough credit to grief. we don't live in a grief friendly society. we are not grief friendly. we avoid feeling pain. and that explains codependency. ( this lady is awesome). Elizabeth cooper (sp?) defined the stages of grief as: Denial, negotiation, anger, sadness, and then acceptance. Grief is a murky experience of going through potentially thousands of emotions. opening up is one of the most difficult things. Surrendering to changes that we don't like. learning to go through these problems and changes with as much ease and grace as possible. were always going to have problems. i don't know we'll ever get a -why-. i don't know there is one. there aren't any rules. its not about judging ourselves its about having a tool kit available. people today are not emerging into adulthood with the same survival resiliency as the babyboomers had. Have Thanks for everything awful that you hate. because.. Resistance ............will ruin everything. so having thanks for what you despise and loathe.... will actually change it ... to what you want. It is a truism. saying thank you for everything and particularly thank you for things you don't want, for whats painful, for whats problematic. i would never encourage one to say thank you for a tragedy. I'm grateful i hurt so much because thats how much i love ________. The earlier in the day we can do this the better it is. to go from what we really feel to what we think we should feel. Today i am grateful for... the things that are causing pain , problems, what theyre afraid of , are confusing them. what they want that they think theyre never going to get. instead of practicing misery, practice conscious gratitude. the returns are enormous." - melody beattie